Coming to the end of a 9 day stretch parenting at home by myself gives me lots of time to reflect on life, and seems like a good time to put some of those thoughts down on paper. Not having a piece of paper I decided to type it here. So as my bride (credit: Brian Chewning) begins her journey home from Costa Rica, here's what been going down.
Some men are just born prolific. Someone once called me a renaissance man, I'm not sure exactly what I meant when I said that about myself, but whatever. Did I invent a cheese omelette with onions inside a grilled cheese? Sure. Are my rainy day nachos the stuff of legend, such that they have their own wikipedia page? Big deal, I put on my pants one leg at a time just like you.
What's really impressive is how this knowledge, tacit in nature, somehow is turned over to children. Even Rubble can see it.
Speaking of Rubble.
But the real story in this post is around the two other boys in the band. First, Hazy. His tail wags more, he's more confident to the point that he bodychecks Rubble on his way to getting attention. And he barks, he found his voice. Passing the three month mark, he knows this is his home and he belongs with us.
It's also become clear that whatever his life was before us, he lived an outdoor lifestyle. It became clear the first time I did some low and slow grilling outside (legendary ribs, yes, I know, move on). Like any dog he follows me when I carry 3 pounds of meat into the backyard. But instead of following me back, he seemed to know that the meat would come back out of the grill. So he'd plant himself out there and be quite comfortable sitting by the grill to wait. One of his former people was a griller.
With the warmer weather he seems content to just sit outside and watch the world go by. Not stimulated by squirrels or birds, although he does notice them. Just quiet contemplation. Or maybe like Steven Puddy staring at the back of the seat for nine hours on a flight.
And now, finally his first fire, and he seemed to know the perfect spot is right by the fire. Almost curled in a symmetric arc with the firepit. His previous people were definitely fire people.
Now Levi. So much to talk about since he turned 18. The formal transition from childhood to adulthood is technically one day on the calendar. But the reality is that it's a slow build over those 18 years. Still, I feel like he's he's packed several years of growth into one month.
We already knew he was accepted at UK with a plan for a pre-med degree. What we didn't know until recently was that he would receive not one but two major scholarships to support his education. Throughout life people have said our kids are amazing. Teachers give high praise, camp counselors note positive qualities. And it's not like we didn't know he was amazing even without that feedback, but it's tough to separate out our own biases that our kids are special. So when the outside world takes scarce resources and uses them to say your child is special, it hits a little different. Someone saying that they picked our child to invest in because they believe in him too brings back a flood of memories over 18 years and it moves me to tears.
And why wouldn't the world want to support this young man? His career plan is to help people, and he's decided that he can best through a career in healthcare. Toward that end, he's just completed a dual credit course to be a certified nursing aide. The formal certification exam is this coming week (still in high school!), but the course included two hands on days at a facility caring for elderly patients.
The circle of life is amazing. When I was a child my father left the house for work before I was awake. And for years, I was the one who was up and out of the house before my son was awake. And now, my son put on his scrubs and was up and out of the house by 6am, long before I was awake. I had no idea that this one little realization would add to my appreciation of raising a family. But it strikes me that if he has a child he will one day make this same connection through his past. Can't wait for the 10-years-later bookend picture to the one below.
Of course it's not all work and no play, and not even all the fun is related to the card game hobby. Here he's off to the senior dinner and dance.
For those worrying that the old Levi has gone away, fear not. Here he is having an amazing time at the event.
Through all of this there is a maturity that has been slowly building. And this month it feels like it's all coming out at once. Captured by an evening at a local spot with live music. A year-long school project requires that he see 10 live shows and document the experience. Here we see the Mingled Oaks and he's making about 3 dozen bullet points to include in his project. He's making notes, not ignoring the band. He shows me the notes and it's partly things I don't understand, the timing of the music, elements of their performance, etc. Way more than just "it's a guitar, mandolin and bass." And I realize again that Levi has skills beyond me in many areas. The dream of every parent. Far from humbling, I cheer it on.
But then it really hit me. All these things that we say as parents, repeating them every day for almost two decades, will one day manifest. You say every day that people should do the right thing, try to help others, show empathy for those around you, work hard. Every 10 minute ride in the car to school is another opportunity to try and implant ideas and guidance. And I wouldn't say these things thinking they would immediately turn into action, but instead that over time they will become part of the kids' character. Like water shaping a rock, just keep working every day and when you look back after two decades you will see that you had an impact.
This show was no exception. We walked into the show being performed in front of a small group of somewhat disinterested customers. After the band finished that song I clapped loudly, the kids joined, and a few others followed. Then after each song there was increasingly energetic applause, even to the point where some others clapped before we did. And Levi noted that he didn't think anyone was giving them applause before we sat down. I suspect he was right. He mentioned the marching band experience from high school as another example. He's been paying attention this whole time. Now as an adult he will be the first to give applause, or to jump in to help when he sees a chance to make a positive impact. How could a parent ask for any more than that?
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